BECOME A GENTLEMAN
A TIMELESS GUIDE IN 10 STEPS
Want to become a gentleman?
I hope you answer that question, because that should be the goal of all men in life, to go from being a boy to being a gentleman, not just an adult boy or man, but a true gentleman.
If you strive for it then you should see these 10 steps as your facet, your guide in life, yes you can say that this list of 10 points is like your Sherpa on your Mount Everest to life. But enough with cheesy parables, let’s go to the essentials.
It's not about money and status
Becoming a gentleman is, as you probably understand, not about making a lot of money, becoming an international spy and lying with a bunch of secret ladies at classy hotels in Monaco and other exotic places. No, it’s about being your best self , about seeing those around you and trying to make the best of what you have.
Here is a list of 10 things you need to know to become a gentleman. If you strive to achieve these 10 things every day, you can proudly call yourself a gentleman.
1: Have proper hygiene
Of course, this is not about always buying scam perfume and styling the hair in the latest trendy hairstyle. Having good hygiene is about being clean, cutting your nails in time, not having an unwashed beard, and fixing that unibrow that takes over your entire face.
Your hygiene affects others, even if you think it is a superficial way of looking at it, it is true. You can’t go around smelling bad or look generally uninjured and dirty, it affects the people around you and their everyday lives. Be respectful and take care of yourself, it benefits both you and your fellow human beings.
2: Always be on time
Getting there in time is a basic form of neatness. You simply do not take up others’ time unnecessarily, especially when you have agreed on a specific time to meet. Everyone has better things for themselves than waiting for you.
3: Always be polite
There is rarely anything to gain from being rude or short on people. On the contrary, there is extremely much to be gained from being nice and polite to everyone you come across. You never know who is at the checkout at Ica or who serves you food. It is not at all unlikely that you will encounter them again, perhaps at a party, dinner or in reverse roles. Unfortunately, we all remember those who treated us badly, but thankfully we have a tendency to remember even more clearly those who treat us with respect and courtesy. So make sure to always be polite, that you will earn in the long run.
4: Dress well
As Tom Ford says: ” Dressing well is a form of good manners “. There is a lot in it.
Once again, this may sound superficial, but I disagree. Let’s say you’re invited to dinner at someone’s home, or you’re going to be baptized. The person who invited you has planned something and looks forward to experiencing it, together with you. The least thing you can do is show that you respect the person in question and make the effort when you dress. It’s not hard to put on a shirt and a pair of chinos instead of t-shirts and jeans.
5: Try to care for the language
Have you thought about how enchanting it is to listen to older, charismatic people who tell something. Why do you think this is so? The answer is two-fold, one part is that they possess wisdom, and it is always interesting to listen to someone who is wise. Unfortunately, this with wisdom can not only deal with it, it comes with life experience.
The second reason is their language, but it is something you can influence! When those born in the first half of the 20th century grew up, it was important to speak correctly, to use a cared-for language and to have a broad vocabulary. That’s why it’s so satisfying to listen to them when they say something.
If you possess the linguistic knowledge you will notice that people listen to you in a completely different way. Speak like a gentleman simply.
6: Keep your emotions under controL
Here it is not about holding back what you feel, if you are sorry it is not wrong to cry. But showering and being aggressive is rarely a good trait. The effect of this is usually that you make everyone around you uncomfortable. Instead, stay calm, take a few deep breaths and try to use your words. Explain what you feel, handle the situation as calmly and sensationally as you can. This is something that most of us need to practice, and it is definitely not easy, but you will notice that the situation never gets better by showering, rather it becomes easier to solve if you manage to keep calm.
7: Always be caring
As I said, becoming a gentleman is not about being an international spy who shoots villains and lies with models. No, it is rather about seeing the world outside yourself and realizing that you are part of any other experience in all situations.
It’s easy to show thought, the only thing you need to do is ask yourself the question: ” What would I have appreciated that someone else did to me in this situation? “. It does not matter what kind of context you are in, that question will always give you the answer.
8: Respect others
That said, you are part of someone else’s experience, respect your fellow human beings, respect that they can see things in a different way than you, and respect that they have had just as long a day as you, probably with just as many adversities as you.
9: Be kind and generous
Nobody likes someone who is greedy and selfish. If you are, it will most likely only lead to the people around you becoming unwilling to help and share with you. In the end you sit there, alone and bitter.
Generosity, on the other hand, is rewarded in 99% of cases with the same in return. We humans absolutely love to reciprocate those who have shown us generosity and kindness, it lies in our DNA and has always done so.
10: Always be your best self
This is not an easy point, to always be at my best I require control and self-understanding. It requires you to reflect on yourself and your behavior and acknowledge your mistakes. If you cannot acknowledge them, you will never be able to correct them and develop as a human being.
But remember, being their best I don’t mean you should always be on top, I had meant it, I had written it. No, that means you should always do the best you can. If you feel bad and feel down, you may not be able to smile widely and be all right, but you can still be polite, and you can still take care of your hygiene and be respectful of others. Do as best you can simply, it makes a huge difference.
In summary, about becoming a gentleman
It’s not about having expensive clothes, drinking fine whiskey and driving cool cars. No, being a gentleman is about being your best self. To be considerate of your fellow human beings, to behave in a controlled, reasonable and polite manner, and to respect your fellow human beings. If you do, people around you will look at you as a true gentleman.